Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Why do we sometimes become so possessive of our possessions? Even if someone uses our pen or hair-band, we really get annoyed with them. I never like sharing my comb with anyone, not with even my own sisters. The same goes for my towel and my blanket! That does not mean that I am very possessive of them. I am just being very over-cautious about cleanliness.

I don’t mind others using anything of mine as long as they ask me and then use it. I hate it when people take my things for granted and use them freely as if they are their own.

I remember an incident where I had lent a college book of mine to my friend. And she never bothered to return. Whenever I would ask about the book, she would say it’s at home and ask me to rummage her shelf and take it back. One fine day, I went to her place and was shocked to see the state of the book. The book was dog-eared and the very first page of it had her name in block letters. Just imagine someone writing his/her name on your book. I was furious and asked her why she had done that. She said she could not help it. How dare she do something like that! At that very moment, I took an oath that I would never lend her any of my books again.

Now when I think about this incident again, I feel that I had over-reacted to the situation. After all she was one of my closest friends and it was just a book. Was that book more important to me than her? Well, we never know!

Not just with things, we even become over possessive about people.

Why do we have this possessive feeling? When someone talks ill of our family members we defend them and would not think for a second time before severing our ties with them forever!

I am very possessive about my friends too. I stopped talking with one of my friends just because he forgot to inform me before he went to collect his degree certificate.

I also fought with another friend of mine for a very silly reason. He works in another branch of our office and every evening he travels to our branch to play TT. And every day he firsts meets me at my desk and keeps his bag and helmet and then goes and meets everyone else. One day he met someone else and then came to my desk. I became very furious. I felt unwanted. I felt he did not care for me anymore. What a foolish feeling I had!

Even when my best friend got engaged and started spending more time with her fiancé, I had a similar kind of a feeling. And I was really mad at her fiancé and wished he would not come between us. And now when I think about it, I feel like laughing! But as long as the feeling lasted, I really felt miserable.

Is possessiveness a positive trait or a negative one? Got to ponder more on it! Got any thoughts on this?


Renu M said...

Its a very negative trait dear. Life is very simple and easy if u r out of these...I can say this with guarantee, because, these feelings complicate life, not others lives, but ours. I was exactly like what u had written, but now I am out of all this, thankfully for my friend who helped me get out of this ad the change has made my life happier. It makes u more open and lively. Sharing your personal belongings is up to u,in fact I agree, I wouldn't want to share my personal belongings, especially if I know they will spoil it, but possessiveness will trouble u mentally.

Arathi Prakash said...

Some times it feels good when someone is possessive about you... It gives a sense of comfort and security! :)

But yes, you are right.. Possessiveness is more of a negative trait. I have started overcoming this negative feeling, but once in a while, it does shoot up to the surface.

Thanks dear for sharing your feelings.. :)

Renu M said...

yes..sometimes it is comfort and security, sometimes more of binding u and a lack of freedom; and at times unnecessary commitments. We at times may feel suffocated due to this possessiveness..and we wil tend to break free...whcih will hurt more...either of them in it...:) good to know u r overcoming it...try to possess God's love and everything will fall in place.